fuhgettaboutit

i'm a leech in the sense that when i'm around people i start picking up on their mannerisms, immediately. when i lived in london for a very brief time i first noticed my internal monologue switching over to an english accent. then when i was interviewing people or talking late at night to my mom or boyfriend on the phone i would launch into an english accent uncontrollably. and fear would set in that they would know and i would know that i was a fake. after all i'm not english, try as i might.

so lately at work, i can't stop myself from sliding into using my fake brooklyn accent. the brooklyn/new york accent has enjoyed a long and beloved history with me. it began in seventh grade when our junior high did a rendition of "ducktails and bobbysocks". for all intensive purposes my accent was spot on. then in college i became "lynette anderson" as only tim and i can say it. we growled my name as if it was born in brooklyn and it became my fake persona. in fact tim is smiling right now about that memory. now i work with a dear person named olivia and we tend to banter back and forth in the same voice. we're good at it, too. we sound like amy pohler and maya rudolph when they do the bronx beat for snl. the problem is i can't turn it off when i talk to customers, so i end up the same fake with no accent control. and i think it comes off a bit rude in portland, especially when i snarl and ask, "what doya want?"

to all of you out there in england or new york, i'm sorry. i'm not trying to mock your accent. i enjoy it and it seems to enjoy me, too.